Days 1 & 2

Yesterday (Day 1) I knew today was going to be stressful. I was going to be working a full 12 hour day today and was not going to be able to be with Hannah. This frustrated me because I felt as though my daughter needed her mother's protection and love as she is adjusting to this "new way of life". She has to wear the braces 23 hours a day, but we are slowly working up to that 23 hour day in increments of 2 hours more each day....(i.e. 1st day wear them 2 hours, the next 4, etc.) She is able to walk in her braces with a straight leg as she is unable to bend her knees. At times she is afraid to not hold my hand and at other times she wants to maintain her independence and "do it myself". Our walk over to the babysitter's house was a slow one but Hannah was very determined. I did not want to force her to be carried though (thus making the trip a ton quicker) as not to restrict her. She was able to walk on the sidewalk while holding my hand.
When it was time for me to head to work after dropping her off, she just stood and blankly stared at me as if to say "Why are you leaving me here like this?" She loves her babysitter and so do we! She is very supportive and always willing to help. This is a great comfort for us to know she will be loved and cared for in our absence. But nonetheless, I can't help but feel guilty about leaving her to "fend for herself". The look she gave me was so sad....it broke my heart. Will she be accepted as she is by the other children? Will she be able to laugh and play the same as always?
As a parent, you really hope your children do not have to face pain and suffering and yet these things are really just a part of life. So we learn to cope. Taking one day, one moment at a time until we move on to the next life challenge.
I discovered later that Hannah had managed to get her foot loose from her shoe, thus stuck in the brace. Smart little 2 year olds!
(Day 2- November 20th 2009)
Hannah was not too excited about putting her braces on again this morning. It seems to be a constant challenge to come up with new ways in which to make getting them on her easier and getting her excited about wearing them. "Let's show them to ______" Let's put them on while you watch "Nemo". Then I usually explain that these are designed to help her legs get better and the doctor said we should do this. Hannah is smart and thus I have always believed in explaining things like this to her in hopes she understands. She tells me that "it hurts". The braces buckle in 3 places on each leg so it has taken me some time to get them on her. She cries and I try to reassure her that "Mommy is sorry. Mommy is trying." She hugs onto me in fear and sadness and I continue to hold back my own tears. I think it is difficult to have to be the "tough one" but that it is also necessary to let her know that this is not a sad thing, and that she will get better soon so that is good. We truly have no idea for how many months or years she will need to wear these as they will be re-checking her about every 3 months to gauge her progression. We are hopeful that soon after baby #2 arrives in April she may only have a few months left of wearing them. Our orthosist informed us that one little girl recently treated, had a worse case than Hannah's and only had worn hers for 8 months. We are faithful people and are praying every day that our journey with Blount's will soon be a distant memory.
Hannah is now able to unbuckle one set of buckles....smart little stinker. Should have known that our daughter's fascination with buckles would prove to be helpful to her someday!